Faith in Everyday Life

As I have begun accepting "God" into my life, I have come to realize that everyday is a trial and a test of faith and will to go on. Each day can be met with one of two attitudes: "I can't do this, I need to go back to bed." or " I can do this! Today is going to be a great day!"

I feel as though, "waking up with God" gives me the opportunity to have faith that, "I can do this!"

I see now that, though the road ahead may be dark and stormy, I can only take one step at a time to cross through the forest of uncertainty.

In recent weeks, it has seemed like my world has been crumbling around me, steadily and unwavering, when I began the week, to my dismay, I had to find a third person to live with me off campus or I would lose the opportunity. Understandably so, seeing as the landlord has an obligation of mortgage as well. Following that fiasco, which may be coming to an end soon, I found out that a large sum of money that was sent to the school to pay for my tuition "slipped through the cracks" and I somehow ended up owing a small fortune to the University.

After a few phone calls, it was all straightened out; despite the fact it may have cost me an ulcer or two. Also, soon after that, we were able secure a third roommate for next year. Now, it may seem coincidental, but I would like to think that my faith partially helped. I won’t lie and say that there wasn’t a time when I felt hopeless and like nothing could be done, but with the proper motivation from my mom, my friends, and the helpful financial aid office staff, things were soon straightened out.

It would seem to me that there is only so long that you can let someone walk over you before you ask them to take off their cleats. It is said that the best method for dealing with someone who hurts or upsets you, is to “turn the other cheek”. However, what happens when you run out of cheeks. Love is a beautiful thing but there is only so much that someone will give to a situation before they just want to walk away. At what point is it alright to turn away and offer up your love to something else that will appreciate it…?

Recently, I have embarked upon a journey to tackle/read the Bible. Through some spectacular advice, motivation and encouragement, I have begun in the book of Mark. Within this powerful chapter, I have begun to realize that it is not yourself who holds control over how you feel look or live your life: It is your faith. I feel that it is this Faith that allows me to become a stronger and more centered person everyday and I only hope that one day; someone will be as inspired by me or my journey as I was by others’ journeys.

Don’t be afraid; just believe.—Mark 5:36

A Revelation on Life

My entire life, I was raised without the extension of religion. I was always told that I could make my own decisions concerning my ideals, my opinions and my morals. Thus far, I have lived without it. However, I believe that I have come to terms with the fact that there is indeed a God.

Though my God may not be one in the image of any specific religion, it would seem that tonight, I realized that I am not the one in control of my life. I feel that I should turn over control of my life to a Higher Power that can aid me on my journey through this hectic and wonderful life.

Tonight, I participated in a concert with the Gospel Choir, Praise Team, Concert Band and the Bluegrass Band. Though I began the evening with a cynical view that the night was a waste of time and that I was only participating for a grade and that it was a large inconvenience. However, with each song, I was 'uplifted' more and more.

Maybe this is just a phase, caused by overindulgence of praise and worship...but I would truly like to think that this is a fork in the road. A chance for me to change who I am, realize who I want to be, and come to terms with my beliefs. I intend to make the most of whatever this is, be it an overindulgence or a life-changing event, and being to research different religions and see if one of them is for me. Maybe I am destined to not have a structured religion but to have my own individual beliefs.I do not mean that I am going to flip to the other end of the scale and start having visions and preaching from dawn 'til dusk, but I do think that I will be evaluating my decisions on a grander scale.

This may also be a by-product of some of the recent tragedy in my own life. In the past year, I have gone through my own personal hell. My mother was out of work for almost a year, my grandfather passed away at age 89 (which I guess could be considered a long life, but it is never long enough when it is a loved one), and I dealt with an immediate family member (I will not reveal who due to the public nature of this forum) going into an alcoholic relapse. I love them more than anything in the world. I realize that they are sick and they are doing everything they can to get through it. They regularly attend Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) meetings and work though the program well. This is reassuring, however, after finding out that I was lied to for over 6 months, makes me weary as to whether I can every truly trust them again. I want to, I really do; but trust is a thing that is not easily earned once it has been lost.

I believe wholeheartedly that I have many demons of my own to work through before I can deal with other people's problems. Once I realize how I have been changed in the past year, I can move on to how other people's decisions and lifestyles are affecting me.

One of the reasons I have made it this far already is due to my friends. I have so many supportive friends that I cannot begin to name them all. To those of them who read this, you know who you are and I cannot begin to thank you enough.